


How To Make Bad Things Better

by 1Storywriter1



Series: An Amazing And Marvelous Duo [22]
Category: Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Identity Issues, Mental Health Issues, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, The Avenger Are There For Him, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21679984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Storywriter1/pseuds/1Storywriter1
Summary: Peter tries to help his mental state.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Peter Parker, Kaine (Spider-Man) & May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Ben Reilly, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & His Mentality
Series: An Amazing And Marvelous Duo [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1484354
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	How To Make Bad Things Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, here's my latest story.  
> I think I should say straight away, there is mental health stuff in this. And I can admit that I'm not an expert, but I tried my best to properly convey it all. I'll understand if you skip this.  
> Anyways, hope you like it...

**Hell's Kitchen...**

"Okay Peter, how are you feeling today?"

Peter gave a half-hearted look up from the spot he lay on on the floor and shrugged. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"...yes."

The doctor sighed, but continued nevertheless. "Have you been taking your meds?"

Silence.

" _Peter_."

 _"Mercer",_ he snapped back. That was wrong though, he shouldn't do that. Taking a few breaths, Peter restarted. "Next question doctor."

Dr. Mercer had a sad look flash on face. "Peter, why aren't you taking your meds?"

He groaned. "I just _haven't,_ okay? I don't need them."

"Why's that then", the doctor asked. Peter groaned again.

"Because I'm fine without them. Everything's the exact same."

"For now at least Peter", Mercer said, "But it will all break very quickly very soon if you don't start taking them."

"I don't need them", Peter repeated again.

"Have you told anyone", the doctor asked, changing subjects. Peter's expression became conflicted at that.

"...no. Not yet at least. I'm working on it, okay?"

There was silence for a few moments after that. "Peter, how long have we seen each other?" Mercer asked.

"About ten years", Peter instantly responded.

"Yes. And for ten years, what has happened when you stop taking your meds?"

Peter stood up and started pacing around as he answered. "Whenever I stop I... stuff becomes hard. Everything starts becoming... weird, I _forget_ \- even though I always forget, I get mixed up with my priorities sometimes- and... I-I get the uh, the pressure and need to leave. But I leave every now and then anyways. I know how to look after myself doctor."

Mercer took that all in, hearing it dozens of times already. Together, they'd been able to find the roots of these problems. The forgetfulness a normal part of his mind, but the more serious moments- the ones were very important events or people to him from the past simply _couldn't_ be placed or remembered were from his highly dangerous on again off again case of dissociative amnesia, his very obvious PTSD being a factor into this as well. The doctor and Peter had always kept an extremely close eye on this, in hopes it wouldn't worsen.

The mixed priorities though, had been diagnosed in a more crude term by these two. They had simply called it a permanent identity crisis. Even without a vocal reveal, the doctor was no idiot and had easily been able to identify the young- at the time at least- Peter Parker as Spider-Man. They both acknowledged this, and if it had to be brought up, it was. And this double identity Peter would never give up gave him this sort of condition, leaving him lost on who _he_ was; Peter Parker, or Spider-Man, or someone else entirely. And time after time Mercer had told him to take a break and find himself. This was always met with a... strongly worded decline, but that didn't mean she'd given up on it.

Finally, out of these conditions, his dropping off the radar was caused by all of these crashing down on him. The meds he used help deal with the severe anxiety, stress and overall mental anguish the earlier stated conditions would cause him, and without them, these would all prove too much and he'd go out alone to wherever he went to realign himself. Wherever he went was a subject not allowed to be talked about, and despite how dangerous the doctor thought this could be, Peter would always come back perfectly fine and start taking his meds and increasing the number of sessions he had. Unfortunately it was still possible even if he kept a good hold of everything, and he'd go on sort of sabbatical anyways, another form of his- to the psychiatrist at least's- self-care.

Dr. Mercer gave a half smile to Peter. "Good. So if you know what can happen, why do you submit yourself to this?"

Peter sighed, sticking to a wall. "Because maybe- just maybe if I don't use them, I might be able to handle everything on my own. Maybe it'd just leave once I sorted my head out."

The psychiatrist stayed on that for a minute. There was a possibility he could be rid of some of his mental issues, just not the way he wanted to do it. You can't force these things, no matter how hard you try. Besides, unless he seriously changed the way he lived, some might never get the chance to heal anyways. "I'm sorry Peter, but you and I both know it doesn't work that way. You'd have to change some parts of your life."

"Not possible", Peter quickly replied, clenching his fists hard, "There's too much on the line if I left that... job. People would get hurt- or even die!"

"You don't have to stop Peter, just give yourself time to work on yourself. And it's extremely obvious there's more than enough people to step up for awhile while you're gone."

"It's still not happening doctor", Peter replied after a few thoughtful moments, "Noone knows how it's done."

"You could show them. Help train the younger ones. There's already too many kids doing this now. Give them a chance to make change."

Complete silence for a minute or so after that. "I think- I think this might be enough for today, Mercer. I'll start taking my meds again. Sorry."

The doctor got up while Peter whether for the door. "Do that Peter, it's only there to help you. And know that if something starts to become too hard to call me. And tell those close to you Peter. They will help if you give them the chance."

Peter said nothing as he left the building.

**Parker Residence...**

Peter sighed, rubbing a hand down his face as he entered his family's house. He should've just listened. He hadn't taken anything for about a week, and everything was catching up. The poles looked extra bendy on the walk here. Upon fully entering, he was instantly greeted by Ben.

"Wow! Hey bro! I didn't think you were coming here today." Ben slowed down when he fully took in his brother's appearance. "Pete, are... you okay?"

Talking. Talking to him. "Y-Yeah. I'm good, uh, B... Ben! I'm good Ben."

The youngest Parker looked at his brother with worry, but decided to let it go. Pete seriously hadn't forgotten his name just then had he? He was playing around... right? Obviously. Obviously.

"Anyways bro", Peter said, snapping his brother out of it, "I'm just getting some stuff, then I might stay the night. It's been... been a day that's worn me down a bit."

"Okay. Get better soon", Ben said, a small hint of concern in his voice.

After that, Peter went up and around to May's room, where he'd put his meds for this week. Moving them around weekly might be a bad idea, but it was better for everyone if he did. Going into the small bathroom in there, he opened the cabinet and grabbed them out. It only took about two minutes to get them all down, but after he was definitely starting to wear him down. Whether that was from the meds or from the day, he didn't really care. It was all the same in the end.

**...**

When Peter woke next, it was to the sounds of an argument downstairs. Groggily, he got out of whatever bed he'd been put into by the looks of it and headed down. He instantly regretted it once he was seen.

"What the hell Pete!" Kaine yelled at him, marching straight up into his brother's face. Seemed he hadn't gotten out of his costume either. "I get back here after patrol and find you passed out with a bunch of drugs on you! What's going on?"

"It's not what it looks like", Peter quietly said.

"Then explain Pete. Why are you passin' out on the floor with a bunch of pills?"

"Kaine", May warned, "This is a serious thing for Peter."

Kaine went and replied to May, but Peter didn't hear it. He'd fazed out. All he could concentrate on was his hand tapping on his leg, the latter limb tapping a million miles an hour. Peter closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. "They're for my head Kaine."

His brother looked at him. "What?"

"They're... they're for my head. My 'mental health problems', Dr. Mercer would call it."

"So-So what? You're on meds?"

"Yes", Peter wobbled, "I'm on meds. I'm f***ed in the head! That's the simplest I can put it."

Everyone froze. Along with the admission, Peter just swore. Peter doesn't swear. It wasn't hard to realise a nerve had been struck.

"Pete", Kaine said, "I-I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have butt in."

Peter started pacing around, flexing his fingers at his sides. "I'm sorry too man. I should've told you."

"Were you though", he asked. "When were you is probably a better question."

Peter remained silent for a while. "I don't know."

There was some more silence, where they had time to think.

"You know we would've helped, right Pete?" Ben asked.

"Maybe", Peter replied, shifting uncomfortablly on the spot, "But it's a lot. Sometimes I... yeah. I'm gonna go."

With that, he left, not giving any of his family a chance to do or say anything.

**Avengers Tower, the next day...**

Going up the elevator to the top floor, Peter breathed, trying to prepare himself. If the events of the day before were any help, it told him now was the time to tell those closest to him about what's going on in his head. It wouldn't be good if they found out on means he didn't make. That much he'd learnt from Dr. Mercer. Hopefully he could actually get it out in a way that didn't alienate the team. Hopefully.

Finally the elevator dinged, letting him know he had arrived. He took another breath. Everyone would be waiting. He'd called a team meeting to discuss this, however hard it would be. Making it to the meeting room in no time, he entered and was met by all eyes on him.

"Hey guys", he greeted, an awkward wave accompanying him. The eyes stayed glued on.

"So what's up Pete?" Tony asked, slouching in his chair. For some reason that unnerved Peter. If his conditions weren't taking well, he'd know if Tony didn't like it now. The chair would shift.

"Uh, well I uh, I called everyone here because there's something I need to tell you guys", he said.

"You're not gonna say you're dying, are you Spider-Pete?" Quill asked, trying to ease the tension. Peter gave a half-hearted smile. It might be as worse as that.

"No, definitely not dying. What I've got to say though is- I-I uh-"

Oh no, he was cracking. He could feel it. Tony, Steve, Banner and Nat gave curious looks his way. Jess and Quill were giving go on gestures. Carol looked concerned. That hurt. A lot.

"Take a breath Peter", Carol soothed, "Just tell us what it is. I doubt anyone will judge you."

He took one, final breath. Here goes nothing. "Okay. What I want to tell you all is that I have... I have a _lot_ of mental health problems."

Silence. 

Absolute. Pure. _Silence._

"Well?" Peter asked, a very audible shake in his voice. Tony leaned forward, an unreadable expression on his face. Oh no, Peter had really messed up. What was he going to do? Was Tony about to kick him off the team? Were they going to throw him out to the dust. Were they-

"We know Pete", Tony instead said, to the complete shock of Peter.

"Y-You did?"

"Well yeah", Tony confirmed, keeping his voice even. "You know I've got PTSD from when I was taken by those terrorists. It wasn't hard to see you had it too after a while Pete. I did my best to quietly help along the way."

"It's more than that though", Peter quietly said, more to himself than anyone else.

"The anxiety was clear too son", Steve added, a sympathetic look on his face. "It's hit me every once in a while."

"I've seen the memory repression too Peter", Carol reluctantly added, "I did a little research after... you know. It was clear you had the symptoms for the dissociative amnesia or whatever it was called."

"There's still more", Peter added, not making eye contact. "Those are just a few."

Noone added anything else, seeing Peter was working things out in his head. And given everything else, this wasn't a moment to interrupt. Finally, he turned back and faced everyone again.

"How- How long have you guys known?"

"It took a while, but eventually the signs of something being at least wrong started showing up to each of us", Quill said. "We guessed you were waiting for the right time. You know you could've told us whenever, right?"

Peter found himself shifting on the spot again. "I do, but it was just... hard. I wasn't sure how you guys would react."

"It wouldn't have changed anything", Natasha spoke up, giving Peter a warm look, "You're part of our family Peter. Nothing would change that. Not even a condition. You're always going to be Peter to us."

"I don't even know who I am sometimes", Peter admitted, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Then we'll be there to help you", Carol affirmed, getting up and putting a hand on Peter's shoulder. She pulled him into a hug after and quietly said to him: " _I'll_ always be here Peter. I'm never _ever_ going to leave you. No matter what."

"Thank you Carol", he quietly replied, giving her a soft kiss. "I love you. Hell, I love all of you guys. You're all my family as well."

The others beamed smiles at Peter, and all got up to go make a group hug. Noone was leaving Peter. Nothing would change that. Ever.

**The next week...**

"How are you feeling today Peter?"

Peter grinned at Dr. Mercer. "I'm feeling _great_."

The psychiatrist stopped what she was doing for a moment, looking at Peter with surprise. "That's new", she stated.

Peter shrugged. "Guess so. But I took your advice Dr. Mercer. I told everyone."

"And how did they react", she asked.

"Better than I thought they would", he answered truthfully, "They basically all knew. Guess I'd made it obvious along the way."

"Ten years would do that", Mercer remarked. Peter gave a lighthearted shrug. "So how is everyone going with it?"

Peter shifted a little at that. "It's alright I guess. Tony's told me to tone it down at least a tiny bit or he'll break my legs, and my family- the Parker side- got used to it pretty quickly. I mean, May knew already since she helped set this all up, and Ben and Kaine got used to it very quickly. I think it was more I stormed out before they could react last week."

"Is that all?"

Before he answered, Peter flashed another grin. "No. After I told everyone, I guess they all got together or something and figured something out, because we're all going camping soon. It's gonna be so cool."

Dr. Mercer smiled at Peter, but still felt a tiny bit uneased. "Are you sure it's a good idea to do that so soon?"

"Well, yeah", Peter answered. "Getting to do something fun with everyone always helps a lot, and it's also really good on my head. Part of my self-care plan if you will."

After he flashed another grin, the doctor decided 'screw it'. "Okay. If you truly think it will benefit you, try it out. But be careful, okay?"

"I will. And thanks doctor. For everything."

A wide grin crossed Mercer's face at that. "You're welcome Peter. I'm always here to help."

"I know", Peter replied as he left, their session over. As he crossed through the exit, he took a nice, steady breath.

Maybe everything would work out in the end. Peter really liked the chances that it would now.


End file.
